We dodged a bullet today.
As you may have read from the thrilling first instalment of this humble blog-a-rino, we were planning to have our family pics done today. These stunning snapshots were to grace the cover of our baby-shower-birth-announcement-thanks-for-the-baby-gift-Happy-Thanksgiving-Merry-Christmas-Happy-New-Year cards we’ve been intending to send out since June. I figured we might as well do a one-size-fits-all card since I haven’t had a moment to even poop by myself much less shower, brush my teeth or handcraft homemade cards. Screw that, I haven’t even had time to slap a stamp on a pre-made jobby. Its fair to say that 67% of my being was looking forward to the joyous occasion. The other…uh…
13%…er… 28%…the other amount of my being was somewhat dreading it. For one, we had nothing to wear (please reference our choice of either garbage bags or 80s tap costumes). The greater reason, however, is that at the best of times my children can be very, lets say, “difficult” to photograph.
Lets observe the little darlings, shall we?
There is a reason people go to professional photographers. For one, they have the patience of the saints. Secondly, they actually know how to operate cameras to make your child look beautiful and sweet and cute instead of like something on the seafood table at a buffet. Case in point:
Needless to say, when faced with the daunting task of getting our brood photographed for the multi-purpose card we needed to call in the big guns. The professionals. The gurus, if you will. And as you know, I was stressing over the collective ensemble of our family. Would it be inappropriate if the whole clan was rolling around nude on a fur rug? It works so well with babies but I am sure there must be a cut off at which point adorable begins to bleed into nightmare-inducing.
And in my hour of need, a miracle.
N crawled out his bed with one eye glued shut with the telltale yellow goopy pus of THE PINK EYE. Hallelujah, praise the Lord! W crawled out of the top bunk, white as a sheet with dark black circles under his eyes. Between the bright ruby red eyes and the pasty transparency our clan was quite a sight to behold. Phew, a mulligan, a do-over, a stay of execution if you will. Of course we could have soldiered on and done family pictures today, but the blend of pale and red eyes would have our swarm of boys looking like newborn vampires.
In closing, dear friends, I wish to convey my regrets if in fact I am unable to send out your multi-purpose card. Perhaps you will get it in time for Easter, but chances are you should probably bank on it showing up to invite you to the twins’ 1st birthday (or graduation…let’s not set unrealistic deadlines for ourselves shall we?)