The Twelve Sick Days of Christmas

It seems our family has been battling some form of the plague for the last 6 weeks. With six people in our household, two of which are infants, one in preschool, one in elementary school and myself being immune suppressed, its been quite an adventure of snotty kleenex wads and a VIP parking spot at the walk in clinic. In ode to this most magical time of the year I have composed the following:

santa

The Twelve Days of Illness: A Tribute to the Ongoing Plague

On the first day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the second day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the third day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the fourth day of illness, 
my child shared with me
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny.  

On the fifth day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the sixth day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the seventh day of illness, 
my child shared with me
Seven lice a-scritching, 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the eighth day of illness, 
my child shared with me
Eight prescriptions a-filling, 
Seven lice a-scritching, 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the ninth day of illness, 
my child shared with me
Nine infections advancing, 
Eight prescriptions a-filling, 
Seven lice a-scritching, 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the tenth day of illness, 
my child shared with me
Ten boils a-seeping, 
Nine infections advancing, 
Eight prescriptions a-filling, 
Seven lice a-scritching, 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the eleventh day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
Eleven fevers hot n’ piping, 
Ten boils a-seeping, 
Nine infections advancing, 
Eight prescriptions a-filling, 
Seven lice a-scritching, 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny. 

On the twelfth day of illness, 
my child shared with me 
Twelve mothers “momming”, 
Eleven fevers hot n’ piping, 
Ten boils a-seeping, 
Nine infections advancing, 
Eight prescriptions a-filling, 
Seven lice a-scritching, 
Six coughs a-spraying, 
Five sores that sting, 
Four loose turds, 
Three pounds of green phlegm, 
Two pink eyes, 
And a nose that was red and runny! 

Its actually pretty catchy! I encourage you to sing it at your next family gathering. I am hoping that our brood can fight off this nasty bug soon and enjoy a very Merry Christmas. Wishing health and happiness to your own broods too!

TAMS – Peace, out!

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